IV Of winning over the woman
Ancient authors are of the opinion that girls are not so
easily seduced by employing female messengers as by the efforts of the man
himself, but that the wives of others are more easily got at by the aid of
female messengers than by the personal efforts of the man.
But Vatsyayana lays it down that whenever it is possible, a man should
always act himself in these matters, and it is only when such is impracticable,
or impossible, that female messengers should be employed.
As for the saying that women who act and talk boldly and freely are to be
won by the personal efforts of the man, and that women who do not possess those
qualities are to be got at by female messengers, it is only a matter of talk.
Now when a man act himself in the matter, he should first of all make the acquaintance of the woman he loves in the following manner:
First, he should arrange to be seen by the woman either on a natural or special opportunity is when they meet either at the house of a friend, or a caste-fellow, or a minister or a physician, as also on the occasion of marriage ceremonies, sacrifices, festivals, funerals, and garden parties.
Second, when they do meet, the man should be careful to look at her in such a way as to cause the state of his mind to be made known to her; he should pull about his moustache, make a sound with his nails, cause his own ornaments to tinkle, bite his lower lip, and make various other signs of that description. When she is looking at him, he should speak to his friends and other women about her and should show to her his liberality and his appreciation of enjoyments. When sitting by the side of a female friend, he should yawn and twist his body, contact his eyebrows, speak very slowly as if he was weary, and listen to her indifferently. A conversation having two meanings should also be carried on with a child or some other person, apparently having regard to a third person, but really having reference to the woman he loves, and in this way his love should be made manifest under the pretext of referring to others rather than to herself. He should make marks that have reference to her, on the earth with his nails, or with a stick, and should embrace and kiss a child in her presence, and give it the mixture of betel nut and betel leaves with his tongue, and pres its chin with his fingers in a caressing way. All these things should be done at the proper time and in proper places.